Anti-aging Crusader Gifts

"How'd you get rid of all your wrinkles?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

The Tammany Ring Defeated- NY Mayor Oakey Hall as 'The Last Thorn of Summer'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

'The law requires me to tell you that we don't discriminate, gramps.'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

Look younger in minutes - 100% Guaranteed!

Office Smoking Conflict

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

"Get off the lawn!"

'I'm tellin' you, Maurice, you should try it. I feel younger, more confident and just yesterday I caught a coupla gibbons checkin' me out.'

'Why can't you grow old gracefully?'

Gullible prunes.