Anti-ageing Warrior Gifts

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Hot dog.

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

Look younger in minutes - 100% Guaranteed!

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

"Get off the lawn!"

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

'Why can't you grow old gracefully?'

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.

Everything was going great until the day I turned forty. Then my face just seemed to cave in.