Age-defying Warrior Gifts

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

Fencing Lessons

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

Optimistic Aging...

She IS a raisin

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

Still hip, but not much hop.

"75"

'You know you're 40 when...'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."