Age-defying Hero Gifts

'You know you're 40 when...'

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

She IS a raisin

Still hip, but not much hop.

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

Optimistic Aging...

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

"75"

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

"SHEESH. What will it be like when I'm eighty?!"