Age-defying Performer Gifts

Still hip, but not much hop.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

'You know you're 40 when...'

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

"I'm starting to look old."

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'Warning: Objects in mirror may bear no relation to reality'

We are 50 going on 15...

'I want to look ten years younger.'

'Mum, you just HAVE to stop lying about your age, otherwise everyone will think that you are younger than me!'

'To absent teeth.'

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."