Age-defying Athletes Gifts

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

Gary turns 40.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

"You've still got it Joao."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

She IS a raisin

'Prove it.'

Still hip, but not much hop.

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

'You know you're 40 when...'

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

Out of order, Fountain of Youth

You are growing old

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

'Joe claims he shot his age today! He also claims he's eighty seven.'

STRIP *The Fan * "Let Garry McAllister be you inspiration."

'Mum, you just HAVE to stop lying about your age, otherwise everyone will think that you are younger than me!'

Mobility Park.

New ruling on ageism makes a difference.

'The difference between retirement and old age is where you put the ice.'

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"