Age-defiers Unite Gifts

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"You're right, they are statins."

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'Ageism at work'

Still hip, but not much hop.

'Prove it.'

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"I'm diagnosing a conflict of interest . . . your body knows how old you are, but your mind refuses to believe it."

Wrong shelf.

Getting older isn't the same as growing up.

"I'm interviewing with a tech company today. I'll need extra age spot remover."

He was never picked last because everyone always wanted Father Time on their side.

"It's not for sale."

Detox meets Botox.

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

'What do you mean 'I'm as healthy as a thirty year old'? I'm only nineteen!'

"Do you have anything for grey, hairs, experience and wisdom?"

'Without surgery, you'll just have to accept jowls and a turkey neck as part of the aging process, Narcissus.'

"Although 60 is the new 40, for some people 40 is the new 60."

"But how do I look for the age I've told everybody I am?"

"When I turn 90, I am so experimenting with drugs."

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

'I'm not worried about ageism - I'm just keeping it real'

"I win!" "You're amazing, grandma."

fountain of youth

"When I started it was just a couple of small injections twice a week."