Age Defiance Enthusiasts Gifts

'Reversing the aging process would have been greater if we both would have had the procedure!'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"You're right, they are statins."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Midlife: You Are Here.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'If this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever seen.'

If middle-age birthday cards were honest...

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Tragedy and Remedy.

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"It's my 39th birthday, and I'm not dealing with it well. What's wrong with me?"

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'IF this is your true age, then you're the youngest case of senility I've ever encountered.'

'I want something to make me look younger.'

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"That's just the meds kicking in."

She IS a raisin

'The kid is being tried as an adult. The old man is in his second childhood, so he's being tried as a juvenile.'

"She just uses all that make-up to hide her age."

Gym. Stay young through diet and exercise. I find it much easier to just lie about my age.

My birthday suit is out of fashion.

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

'Who are you?' 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'