Age-defying Enthusiast Gifts

"This is cultural appropriation."

'People your age tend to overindulge themselves to death — we doctors call them 'suicide boomers.''

'Er...the botox injections of Dorian Gray?'

"I'm 49, but that's 32 in Facebook years."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Midlife: You Are Here.

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

The end of innocence

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"75"

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

'You know you're 40 when...'

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."

"We begin tonight with breaking news. LIFE has given a local teenager a rude awakening."

"My mom and dad are still very sharp."

"They say you're only as old as your face."

Aging Boomers live longer.

Boy, Interrupted.