Ageless Enthusiast Gifts

Invention No 123. The Anti-prune Mirror

Breast Height Chart

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Do you think I'm sixty?

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

You're never too old for ballet!

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Midlife: You Are Here.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

The end of innocence

The Inner Dog.

The New Age Dentist.

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

New Age Pit Bull

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

Senior Photos

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'