Elderly Enthusiast Gifts

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Breast Height Chart

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Old Frogs' Home

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Peace on Earth

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"I'd like to make a return."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

Old Dog's Home

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart