Middle-age Enthusiast Gifts

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Midlife: You Are Here.

Mid-century Father

The end of innocence

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"I'd like to make a return."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

Jack Kerouac

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

'You know you're 40 when...'

'You can try, but once they're past forty, you can't teach them new tricks.'

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'