Middle-age Adventurer Gifts

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"One year closer to college!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

Women

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

Lawrence of Suburbia

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'Don't know what's wrong with it. Just doesn't seem to attract women anymore.'

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"I'm at the age where work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work."

Secrets of Adulthood.

'In denial and loving it!'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"