Mid-life Adventurers Gifts

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'Don't know what's wrong with it. Just doesn't seem to attract women anymore.'

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'In denial and loving it!'

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

"I can't tell if I feel tired because I'm older, or I feel older because I'm tired."

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'