Mid-life Explorers Gifts

'In denial and loving it!'

Middle Aged Spread.

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

Pubertry

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

"I can't tell if I feel tired because I'm older, or I feel older because I'm tired."

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"What do you want to be when you give up?"