Mid-life Exploration Gifts

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Where Are They Now?'

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

Lawrence of Suburbia