Mid-life Crisis Explorer Gifts

'If you're going through your second childhood like Mom says, how come I never see you at school?'

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

Middle-Age Superheroes

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

Quick Spring Fling

"How do you know if you're under the radar or washed up?"

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!