Mid-life Crisis Explorer Pillows

'If you're going through your second childhood like Mom says, how come I never see you at school?'

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

Quick Spring Fling

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'