Midlife Crisis Navigator Pillows

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Have you got it in beige?"

He kept up his guitar practise...

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

Middle-Age Superheroes

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Quick Spring Fling

"How do you know if you're under the radar or washed up?"

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"