Mid-life Crisis Adventurer Pillows

"You can buy all kinds of stuff on the internet!"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!