Aged Adventurer Gifts

"You look good for your age."

"Well sure, I forget things... doesn't everybody?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"One year closer to college!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

You're never too old for ballet!

Duel in a wheelchair.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

Altar Ego

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

Women

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'