Aging Adventurer Gifts

'Congratulations! You've gone from a care-free baby-boomer, to a care-needy elderly person in record time!'

'If sixty is the new forty, thirty must be the new ten.'

"I think she's the new nurse. She's been here ever since I can remember."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Anyway, I'm off to uni now Dorothy, catch you later babe!!'

'Howdy, Millie, how's your incontinence?'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'How can we grow old together when I age seven times faster than you?'

"I'm at the age where work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work."

'It's like trying to get the denture fixative back in the tube!'

"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"

"One year closer to college!"

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

Rip Van Tinkle

An old man walking towards his grave

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

"Alexa here is my sixty-eight-year-old, and Nat here is my seventy-two-year-old."

Short-term memory nostalgia.

Baby Boomers...Finance Your Mid Life Crisis Here!

'You have the heart of a man of 30, the lungs of a man of 42, the liver of a man of 27...'

'Did we ever hit menopause?'

Botox: Cosmetic Miracle or Gateway Drug?

"Let me ask you a man-to-man question, Randy, asterisk." "Shoot." "Let's say you wake up, you look in the mirror, and you notice your first gray hair." "Would it be manlier to immediately pluck it out and pretend it never happened, or would it be manlier to tell yourself it's actually blond?" "Armstrong, avoiding the truth is never manl... wait... 'asterisk'?" "(Asterisk) By answering my question you enter into a binding non-disclosure agreement."

Women

"I would embrace the aging process if I could life my arms."

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

Period Of Transition

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.