Aging Adventurers Gifts

Inside One's Memory Bank

I retired when the crew began calling me Salt and Pepper Beard

'This memory-loss thingy isn't so bad...now we get to sleep with a different partner every night.'

"Marge, start packing. We're moving up the road to 'Coming-Out-Of Retirement Village'."

Heritage Acres

Pensioners Ahead

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"One year closer to college!"

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Duel in a wheelchair.

You're never too old for ballet!

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

Women

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

'We decided to get out and spend the kids inheritance. Unfortunately they insisted on coming with us!'

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

"I'm sorry, but you've had it up to here."