Aging Gracefully Adventurer Gifts

The Golden Age of Marking Territory

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"One year closer to college!"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Inside One's Memory Bank

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

Aging Problems

You're never too old for ballet!

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Duel in a wheelchair.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"You're right, they are statins."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

"Miriam keeps me young."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

The Aging of Underwear