Ageing Gracefully Enthusiast Gifts

'Edna, is my memory slipping?' 'No, not your memory!'

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

"I've got enough crow's feet to start a bird sanctuary."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Man...You age great!'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Parts Department

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Aging Problems

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"I noticed a few browns."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"You're right, they are statins."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"I come from the future."

"Miriam keeps me young."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'