Aging Gracefully Enthusiasts Gifts

'They want your underwear.'

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

Middle-Aged Robot.

'The limousine they sent us has flashing lights and a siren.'

"30 years ago I'd have thought you were proposing, but now I'm just worried that you've had a heart attack."

You haven't aged a day! That's a compliment when said to a person and an insult when said to a bottle of wine.

Middle-aged people spend a lot of time looking for things that they have 'lost'.....

An old woman and her younger looking shadow

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Parts Department

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

Aging Problems