Aging Gracefully Admirers Gifts

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Multi-Generational Books

'Man...You age great!'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"I noticed a few browns."

Aging Problems

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

The Aging of Underwear

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

A very fine vintage

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

'I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound like I used to.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"I was on hormone replacement for two years before I realized I needed Steve replacement."

Middle-aged people spend a lot of time looking for things that they have 'lost'.....