Aging Gracefully Enthusiasts Pillows

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

'The limousine they sent us has flashing lights and a siren.'

"30 years ago I'd have thought you were proposing, but now I'm just worried that you've had a heart attack."

Middle-aged people spend a lot of time looking for things that they have 'lost'.....

An old woman and her younger looking shadow

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

An old man exercising with hourglasses

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Parts Department

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Aging Problems

"I noticed a few browns."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

"I come from the future."

"Miriam keeps me young."