Aging Gracefully Fans Pillows

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Turning eighty? Come on, you're still a youngster: I'll turn one hundred and twenty next month...

Multi-Generational Books

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Man...You age great!'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Old Karate Master

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Aging Problems

"I noticed a few browns."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

"I come from the future."

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

"Miriam keeps me young."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'