Aging Gracefully Fans Pillows

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Turning eighty? Come on, you're still a youngster: I'll turn one hundred and twenty next month...

Multi-Generational Books

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

'Man...You age great!'

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Old Karate Master

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"I noticed a few browns."

Aging Problems

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"I come from the future."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."