Aging Gracefully Crowd Pillows

A very fine vintage

"I don't regret going bald. I just regret growing bald before I had a chance to rock a man bun."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'Man...You age great!'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Aging Problems

"I noticed a few browns."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

"I come from the future."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'