Aging Gracefully Crowd Pillows

"The painting has noticeably deteriorated as the years have passed." Art imitates life.

A very fine vintage

"I don't regret going bald. I just regret growing bald before I had a chance to rock a man bun."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'Man...You age great!'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Aging Problems

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"I come from the future."