Aging Gracefully Supporter Pillows

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

The knee surgeon did a poor job.

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

"It's all part of life. In time, each of us will be moved to the guest room."

'Oo', you say?

"I noticed a few browns."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Multi-Generational Books

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Man...You age great!'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Old Karate Master

Parts Department

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Aging Problems

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'