Aging Gracefully Advocate Pillows

"Your eyes are fine. I'ts just that on some eye charts they type is too small." The nearly blind leading the nearly blind.

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

"My memory's terrible these days"

The man who put the 'men' in 'menopause'...

An extremely general practitioner

'Don't think 'blotchy'. Think variegated skin, like a beautiful plant.'

Still fits like a glove after all these years!

Stenna stair lift on hamsters wheel.

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

'You know you're getting older when the old 'fire in your belly' is actually acid reflux.

"Another birthday. I feel like a dinosaur."

'It's the results of your over-40's health check.'

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'it's going through mid-life crisis.'

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"It says that human body cells replace themselves completely every seven years -- you'd think we'd be better-looking by now."

'The sleigh's at the Smithsonian, the reindeer are at the museum of natural history, and Santa is at a retirement community somewhere in Florida.'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'I've been having one long, continuous bad hair day for the past 25 years.'

A senior moment.

'His biological clock needs rewinding.'

"Going bra-less has pulled the wrinkles out of my face..."

"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."

The eyebrow come over and the nose hair mustache.

"I come from the future."

"Now that my knees are bad, I only chase pickleballs."

'Why do I have to cover my mouth when I cough?' 'To keep your teeth from flying across the room!'

Getting older is . . . making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

My wrinkle chart

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

"Couldn't you say 'Happy Birthday' instead of 'One Day Closer to Death'?"

'You're in good shape for a man of 60.' - 'Pity I'm only 40.'

When will you admit you need glasses.

'I'm at an age where my back 'goes out' more than I do!'

Man walking past the offices of the medical practitioners needed throughout the course of life.