Ageing Gracefully Crowd Pillows

Jim wasn't much of a dater.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Multi-Generational Books

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Man...You age great!'

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Aging Problems

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

"I come from the future."