Aging Gracefully Fan Pillows

"I've decided to start groaning every time I have to move my body a little bit."

Blackbeard needed help living up to his name.

'It's true - the legs go first!'

'If you were 95 years old your condition would be perfect.'

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'Man...You age great!'

Old Vampire with false teeth.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Old Karate Master

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Aging Problems

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

"I come from the future."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."