Aging Gracefully Fan Gifts

'Great heavens! You're right, it is her! ... Y'know I remember her when she used to be in focus.'

'Rock of Ages'

"I've decided to start groaning every time I have to move my body a little bit."

"I used to be full of it, too, when I was your age..."

Blackbeard needed help living up to his name.

'It's true - the legs go first!'

'If you were 95 years old your condition would be perfect.'

As I got older I became like a good mystery story: full of wrinkles.

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'Man...You age great!'

Old Vampire with false teeth.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Multi-Generational Books

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Old Karate Master

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"I noticed a few browns."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Aging Problems

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."