Ageing Gracefully Supporter Gifts

"I remember when I got that tattoo. It was originally on my thigh."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Multi-Generational Books

'Man...You age great!'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Old Karate Master

Aging Problems

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"I noticed a few browns."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

A very fine vintage

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

The Aging of Underwear

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'