Anti-aging Adventurers Gifts

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

"One year closer to college!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

You're never too old for ballet!

Duel in a wheelchair.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

Women

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

'We decided to get out and spend the kids inheritance. Unfortunately they insisted on coming with us!'

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

When Seniors Fly

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"I'm at the age where work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work."