Anti-aging Adventures Gifts

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

Cats on Board.

Inside One's Memory Bank

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

Aging Problems

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

'I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound like I used to.'

When Seniors Fly

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

'Will I outgrow my hair like you when I grow up?'

"You have the wrinkles of a woman half your age."