Embracer Of Aging Adventures Gifts

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"One year closer to college!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

Aging Problems

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

Mirror mirror...

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

Women

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

The shape of things to come

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

An old lady has her varicose veins tattooed to look like plants

'I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound like I used to.'

When Seniors Fly

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."