Embracer Of Aging Adventures T-Shirts

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"One year closer to college!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

Aging Problems

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

Mirror mirror...

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Women

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

The shape of things to come

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

'I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound like I used to.'

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

An old lady has her varicose veins tattooed to look like plants