Age Gap Adventurer Gifts

'You shouldn't be nervous about meeting my parents - you're more their age than mine!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"One year closer to college!"

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

Off to see the world

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

Duel in a wheelchair.

You're never too old for ballet!

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anti-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

Women

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."