Elderly Enthusiast Pillows

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Breast Height Chart

Ed's receding hairline!

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

Midlife: You Are Here.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"I'd like to make a return."

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!