Ageing Enthusiast Pillows

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

The end of innocence

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

"When did I change from seizing the day to just seething?"

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'