Aging Enthusiast Gifts

'You can try, but once they're past forty, you can't teach them new tricks.'

'I'm really looking forward to being put in a nursing home...'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

'Sorry, Louise, old age doesn't go into remission.'

Breast Height Chart

"I make sure I age my whiskey."

No one every actually goes bald, they just pluck out all the greys.

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"I'm glad my doctor is old. He understands my ailments because he has them."

"No, the video isn't in slo-mo. That's the speed your granddad and I actually walk."

"Grandma, I know how you feel. The dentist says I'll lose all my teeth, too."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"You may not recognize Bobby. He's turned into his father."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Let's face it, Old Simkins is well past his 'best before' date...'

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

'I realise now that your body's obsolescence was planned, all planned right from the start.'

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

Coalition Increases Retirement Age

Billy strip: wine improves with age.

'It's just part of growing old!'

"I'll need to run some tests, but you have all the symptoms of being a day older."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Ed's receding hairline!

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

Aging Problems

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"