Geriatric Enthusiast Gifts

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"That's Ms Pitt. She's been entrenched on high alert at the front desk for 42 years."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?