Senior Living Enthusiast Gifts

'You've even lost the will to complain...'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

Ed's receding hairline!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Old Frogs' Home

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.