Senior Life Enthusiast Gifts

Feel good.

From here to infirmity.

"I have to keep a lot of handwritten notes. Every mental note I make is in invisible ink."

Old Frogs' Home

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I don't know who you are!"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

Ed's receding hairline!

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

That's Seven in Human Years

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.