Senior Night Enthusiast Gifts

Every Night is Over 60's Night

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Old Frogs' Home

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

A senior moment.

James Bond: Senior Years.

David Blaine, Age 60

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

Bat

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

David Letterman

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"There, now you're in your pyjamas too."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"My memory's not too good these days."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"I love these quiet evenings at home battling alcoholism."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I have dusk free."

'I need a low dose of Viagra please doctor. . .I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't wee on my shoes.'

"You have reached your destination (for the 4th time tonight, I might I add?)"

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night

"Phew! You're ripe! What's that brown spot?"

"How's your memory?"

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

"No, you can't go to the rock concert! It's vital you don't damage your hearing!"