Senior Moment Enthusiast Gifts

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

Senior Jeopardy!

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"My memory's not too good these days."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

"How's your memory?"

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'Don't get up until nine.' - 'What time is it now?'

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"My back goes out more often than I do..."

Toxic Relationship

'It's my prostate.'

"Show-off!"

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

You know you're getting old...when your mobile phone rings and you start taking photographs of your ear.

'Now where did I put that cape?'

The Name Brain

"Look at that adorable mother and baby! I haven't changed a diaper in years."

'Mine does the same...a loud involuntary groan every time he sits or gets up.'