Senior Moment Sharer Gifts

"Geez, my memory is getting bad." "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Senior Jeopardy!

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Computer Jobs

"My memory's not too good these days."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

Life begins at 60

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

"Look at that adorable mother and baby! I haven't changed a diaper in years."

The Name Brain

'Now where did I put that cape?'

'Mine does the same...a loud involuntary groan every time he sits or gets up.'

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

Why can't you just buy some extra memory like everybody else?